The Button Mash Show: SMB 30th Anniversary

(Scene shows the set of a talk show, a la “Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon”. The lights turn on.)
Announcer: Live from downtown Manehattan; it’s The Button Mash Show! Hosted by the youngest talk show host in the history of history, Button Mash!!!
(The song “Gala Premiere” plays as Button Mash walks in and sits down. The audience applauses.)
Button Mash: Hello, everypony; and welcome to my brand new talk show, The Button Mash Show! Tonight, we have a very special show, because we’re celebrating the thirtieth anniversary of my favorite video game franchise of all time, Super Mario Bros.!
(Applause)
Mario has come a long way in the past thirty years. Over two hundred games, tons of merchandise, and even a large fan base throughout the years. I own all of the platformers, all the Mario Karts, Mario Parties, and the character spin-off games. And speaking of Mario character spin-off games, one character from one of those spin-offs agreed to come make a guest appearance on the show to talk about Mario. I’ve been chatting with him online since moving to Ponyville, he’s probably the biggest Nintendo fanatic of all time, and one of my best friends ever, and he came all the way here from Diamond City. Fillies and gentlecolts, please give a huge round of applause for our special guest, 9-Volt!
(“Gala Premiere” plays again as 9-Volt enters, waves at the audience as they applause, shakes hands with Button Mash, and sits down.)
Thank you so much for coming on the show, 9-Volt.
9-Volt: Thank you for having me here, Button Mash. It’s such a pleasure to finally meet you in person. I have to say, since I see all of these characters in the audience, all of us at WarioWare Inc. are huge fans of Friendship is Magic. Even Ashley admits that it’s a guilty pleasure of hers.
Button Mash: It’s very sweet to know that you all love us. So before we start talking about Mario and the such, I’m sure the audience would like to know a little bit about you.
(Applause)
So, you have been working at WarioWare Inc. for how long?
9-Volt: About twelve years.
Button Mash: Twelve years, wow; and you and the rest of the crew haven’t aged one bit. Also, before I forget, let’s have another round of applause for the WarioWare crew who came all the way here just to see the show.
(The audience applauses as the camera cuts to the WarioWare crew, who are sitting in the audience. Mona, Ashley, and Penny stand up and hold up a sign that says “WE YOU, 9-VOLT”. The camera cuts back to Button and 9-Volt.)
9-Volt: It’s funny how they’re the only ones in the audience that aren’t ponies.
Button Mash: Well, Lyra seems to be enjoying their company.
(The camera cuts back to the audience, where Lyra is massaging Mona’s hand. Mona stares at her oddly.)
Mona: Uh, may I help you?
(Lyra squees)
Lyra: A HUMAN SPOKE TO ME!!
(She faints as Mona and Ashley look at each other weirdly and roll their eyes. The camera cuts back to Button and 9-Volt.)
Button Mash: Anyway, 9-Volt, how did you find out about WarioWare Inc. in the first place?
9-Volt: I was walking home from school one day, and I saw a flyer in the window of Toy Express about a new microgame development company that was under construction at the time called WarioWare Inc. They were really flexible with age range and the flyer said no experience required. Since I always loved video games and was excited that Wario moved here to start a company, I immediately applied.
Button Mash: Knowing how big of a Nintendo fan you are, I can only imagine how the interview went.
9-Volt: Oh man, the interview; I was so nervous about it. I started having hot flashes all of a sudden, I was sweating like a pig, I couldn’t feel my legs; but at least I tried to keep my cool. I was actually surprised that I got hired. But hey, at least my interview wasn’t like Mona’s. She sang her interview.
Button Mash: You’re kidding.
9-Volt: No I’m not, she sang that song from Pippin; I think it was called “Kind of Woman”? Yeah! And when she got the call saying that she was hired, the last thing that Wario said before hanging up was “also, save the performing stuff for Broadway.”
(The camera cuts to Mona, who is blushing, covering her face, and laughing.)
Button Mash: The WarioWare crew sounds like an interesting bunch, doesn’t it.
9-Volt: They’re all amazing. The crew is such a sweet, hilarious, and talented group of people. They’re all such great friends, even if Kat and Ana can get annoying because they flirt with me all the time.
Button Mash: Looks like Mona’s not the only one at the company that’s into older men. Now, before we start talking about Mario, I would like to ask you one more question about working at WarioWare. What would you say is the most fun memory you had while working there?
9-Volt: Oh man, there are a lot of fun memories with these guys. But the most fun, I would say, was Christmas Eve of 2006, this was at the time Smooth Moves was being released. We always have a Christmas Eve party at the place at night, and that year, there was this huge snowstorm, which was really shocking to us because it rarely snows in Diamond City.
Button Mash: Well, I do know one thing, the bipolar weather sure is not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of the beauty and majesty of Diamond City. Maybe when I think of New Jersey, but surely not Diamond City.
9-Volt: Anyway, the snow was halfway up the building, so we were all snowed in, but we took the advantage of extending the party. We raided the fridge in the break room, we were playing music really loud, that whole shebang. So at around midnight, we were also getting tired and wanted to go home, but we couldn’t use the front door because of the snow. So, Wario grabbed a rope and a giant sled that could fit all of us on it from the utility closet, and we all made our way to the rooftop. We tied the rope to the chimney and climbed down to where the snow was. When Wario climbed down, they brought the sled and we all boarded it, and slid down the hill. It was a lot of fun. Needless to say, it was probably the best Christmas we had, despite the snowstorm.
Button Mash: Well, it sounded like you all had fun. And speaking of fun, we will get to talking about Mario right after this commercial break, so stick around!
(Applause)

Button Mash: Welcome back to The Button Mash Show, everypony! I was just chatting with my good friend, 9-Volt, about his experiences at WarioWare Inc., and now, in honor of the 30th anniversary of Super Mario Bros., we are going to talk about Mario!
(Applause)
So, 9-Volt, when did you start getting into Mario?
9-Volt: I was about five years old, my mom got our family a Super Nintendo from a local thrift store. We also got Super Mario World along with the console, which was my very first Mario game, and I would play it religiously. Everyday when I got home from school and finished my homework, I would go straight to the Super Nintendo and play some Mario. I would even invite 18-Volt over every weekend to play with me. Every Christmas since then, we would get a new Nintendo console and that’s when my interest in collecting retro Nintendo games all started.
(Applause)
Button Mash: You know, my first Mario game was Super Mario 64. I didn’t play any of the 2D Mario titles until a few years after. Now, who would you say is your favorite Mario character in the entire franchise?
9-Volt: Well, no offense to Wario, love you, boss! My favorite character in the franchise would have to be Yoshi, because he’s a dinosaur, and dinosaurs are friggin’ awesome. Of course, not the dinosaurs from the town next to Diamond City, but you know what I mean.
Button Mash: He’s my favorite character too! I do know what you mean, and you are right; dinosaurs are indeed friggin’ awesome.
(They brohoof)
Do you have any specific Mario games that you would consider to be your favorite?
9-Volt: That is a very tough question, I must say. Trying to choose a favorite Mario game is like trying to choose which member of One Direction’s pubic hair you would like shoved in your mouth. It’s nearly impossible, but for completely different reasons. But, I would have to say Super Mario Bros. 3. I know, I know, cliche, but it really is an amazing game.
(Applause from a select few in the audience.)
I got it for my seventh birthday, and I’ve been addicted to playing it ever since. Even when I beat the game I decided to play another game of it; I was not bored of it at all! Also, the fact that it was the first real Mario game to have all these creative ideas for their levels and all these new items. But Super Mario World comes in close second…
(Applause from another select few in the audience.)
...but maybe that’s just me being biased since it was my first Mario game after all.
Button Mash: They’re my favorite Mario games too! But for me, it would probably be the other way around, Mario World being my favorite and Mario 3 being my second favorite. I always loved that feeling when in Super Mario World when you’re riding on Yoshi and wearing the feather cape, and feeling like a complete badass doing so.
9-Volt: Me too! Although it doesn’t really last long half the time because there would always that one enemy that messes everything up for you.
Button Mash: I know, that is so annoying!
(They both laugh.)
It’s amazing how these games alone can bring back so many memories.
9-Volt: I feel that that’s the beauty of Nintendo, the fact that it’s basically the Disney of video games. Pretty much every game Nintendo makes has this hint of magic and timelessness in them that when you play them years later, all of these feelings from when you played these games for the first time come back to you and you feel like a kid again.
(Applause)
Button Mash: Now, one last question. This doesn’t have to do with Mario forsay, this is more of a general Nintendo question. Did you audition to be in the most recent Smash Bros.?
9-Volt: I actually did, in fact. I auditioned along with Mona, Kat, Ana, and Ashley. Wario didn’t have to re-audition since he was playable in Brawl, but Kat and Ana had to because previous Assist Trophies had to re-audition. Of course none of us were cast to be playable, but, as you all know, Kat, Ana, and Ashley were cast to be Assist Trophies, and Mona and I got cut.
Button Mash: I bet you were really upset that you didn’t make the cut.
9-Volt: You have no idea. I cried myself to sleep every night for three weeks all because I got cut from Smash. Kat, Ana, and Ashley were pretty upset that they were only Assist Trophies, hell, Kat and Ana threw a huge temper tantrum when the character roster was announced, but at least they’re still in the game. And Mona was also pretty upset too, but I’m pretty sure she was more upset about the fact that her song was cut from the soundtrack this time around. She and Ashley did curse off the casting directors and gave them the finger in front of Kat, Ana, and me while the five of us were talking shit about them the day after the character roster was announced.
Button Mash: You guys can be such divas sometimes.
9-Volt: I know, but hey, we were upset nonetheless.
Button Mash: Hey, I understand. Happens to all of us at one point.
9-Volt: Exactly.
Button Mash: This whole interview is such a mess.
9-Volt: I know, but I’m still having an amazing time nonetheless.
Button Mash: So am I. 9-Volt, I wanna ask you, is it weird that I actually would marry Mario if I was a human… and if I was gay?
9-Volt: Of course not, Button Mash! I would marry Mario in a heartbeat too if I was gay, which, by the way, I am NOT. Seriously, I say that one line in my closing cutscene in Smooth Moves, and now the entire internet thinks I’m gay. I've gotten over a hundred letters from fans calling me a homo after its release.
Button Mash: It’s okay, 9-Volt. The internet thinks every character is gay. Just take a look at all the shipping fanart of the rest of your coworkers.
9-Volt: Well, I have seen some shipping fanart of Mona and Ashley one time.
(The camera cuts to Mona and Ashley, who just notice that they’re holding hands on their armrest. They both blush and pull their hands away. The camera cuts back to Button and 9-Volt.)
But whether we’re gay or not, what can we say?
(He and Button take Mario hats from underneath their chairs and put them on.)
Button Mash, 9-Volt: We’re “Gaga” over Mario.
(Kat, Ana, and Sweetie Belle enter from backstage in Lady Gaga inspired version of Princess Peach’s dress. Button and 9-Volt exit as the music starts.)
Kat, Ana, Sweetie Belle: Mario
Mario bromance
Nintendo
Mario bromance
(Button Mash and 9-Volt re-enter in Mario costumes)
Button Mash, 9-Volt: Oh, oh, Mario
Go, go, Nintendo
Here, here, here we go
Mario bromance
Oh, oh, Mario
Go, go, Nintendo
Here, here, here we go
Mario bromance
Button Mash: I love Mario, I love Luigi
From Mario 1, 2, 3, World, RPG
Hey Mario
Nintendo, Mario
9-Volt: I’ll get four players, New SMB Wii
Follow you through your Mario Galaxy
Hey Mario
Sixty-four Mario
Kat, Ana, Sweetie Belle: Sixty-four Mario
Button Mash, 9-Volt: You know that I play you
And everyday you
Feed my Super Mario bromance
Button Mash: I love you when you’re wearing blue or red pants
I’ve got a Super Mario bromance
Kat, Ana, Sweetie Belle: Mario
9-Volt: I loved on Gamecube when you used to “Dance Dance”
I’ve got a Super Mario bromance
Kat, Ana, Sweetie Belle: Mario
Button Mash, 9-Volt: Mario bromance
Kat, Ana, Sweetie Belle: Nintendo
Button Mash, 9-Volt: Mario bromance
Oh, oh, Mario
Go, go, Nintendo
Here, here, here we go
Mario bromance
Oh, oh, Mario
Go, go, Nintendo
Here, here, here we go
Mario bromance
I’ll beat Bowser, Wart, and the Koopalings
With Flowers, Stars, Mushrooms, Frogs, and P-Wings
Koopa Troopas, Goombas, Toad, and Yoshi
Love Wario, but not Waluigi
Kat, Ana, Sweetie Belle: Mario
Button Mash, 9-Volt: I hate Waluigi
Kat, Ana, Sweetie Belle: Mario bromance
Button Mash, 9-Volt: Nintendo, seriously!
Kat, Ana, Sweetie Belle: Nintendo
Button Mash, 9-Volt: Oh, but I digress
Kat, Ana, Sweetie Belle: Mario bromance
Button Mash, 9-Volt: I got a Super Mario bromance!
I’ll play all eight worlds and save the princess
I got a Super Mario bromance
Kat, Ana, Sweetie Belle: Mario
Button Mash, 9-Volt: And then I’ll play Mario Kart and Tennis
I got a Super Mario bromance
Kat, Ana: Mario
Sweetie Belle: Mario bromance
Button Mash, 9-Volt: Mario bromance
Sweetie Belle: Mario bromance
Kat, Ana: Nintendo
Sweetie Belle: Mario bromance
Button Mash, 9-Volt: Mario bromance
Oh, oh, Mario
Go, go, Nintendo
Here, here, here we go
Mario bromance
(Applause)
Button Mash: Let’s give 9-Volt one more big round of applause, everypony!
(9-Volt bows)
Let’s give a round of applause for our backup singers and dancers, Kat, Ana, and Sweetie Belle! Thanks so much for being here, girls!
(Kat, Ana, and Sweetie Belle bow and hug Button Mash.)
And let’s give a big round of applause for Mona and Rarity, who are in the audience, for the amazing choreography and costumes for our closing number!
(Camera cuts to the audience. Mona and Rarity stand up and bow. The camera cuts back to Button Mash and 9-Volt. “Gala Premiere” plays again.)
Thank you everypony, for coming to the show, and happy 30th anniversary to Super Mario Bros.! I’ll see you next time!
Announcer: Live, from downtown Manehattan, this has been…
(The music stops)
The Button Mash Show has been cancelled!