literature

Elsa (Rarity) Sings Frozen 2!

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Literature Text

(Pinkie Pie and Applejack are shown in a recording studio, Pinkie being the director and Applejack being in charge of the accompaniment. Rarity enters the recording booth dressed as Elsa from Frozen.)

[Pinkie Pie]
Elsa! This is so exciting! Round 2, right? Frozen 2: De-Thawed.

[Rarity]
I though we were going with Completely Numb.

[Pinkie Pie]
Well, I mean, you know we're still working on an exact title, but I don't really care what it is. I just want more Frozen!

(Rarity rolls her eyes.)


Are you warmed up and ready to go?

[Rarity]
No and yes; let's get this over with.

[Pinkie Pie]
Okay, alright, here we go.

(Applejack turns on the accompaniment.)

[Rarity]
It's no secret I'm doing this sequel for cash
Castles are expensive to maintain


[Pinkie Pie]
Good, good; you sound great! You do.

(She looks at her phone.)

And great news! This song is already #1 on iTunes! The producers want a title; what will it be?

[Rarity]
I don't know yet; I'm gonna make it up as I go along, just like I did last time.

[Pinkie Pie]
I can't wait! Go ahead. Keep going, keep going.

(Applejack turns on the accompaniment.)

[Rarity]
Sequels are for sellouts
Ariel and Belle had integrity


[Pinkie Pie]
(To Applejack)

Well, not these days, right? Now, everypony's all like "Can I do a reality show?"

(They both laugh.)

[Rarity]
But my castle's huge and there's a staff I need to feed
Plus, they like it warm, and I need AC!


[Pinkie Pie]
Great! Great, Elsa. Now, let's hear a little something about your sister.

[Rarity]
The brunette girl?

[Pinkie Pie]
Yeah.

[Rarity]
Her boyfriend has that moose.

[Pinkie Pie]
I thought it was a reindeer.

[Rarity]
Is that what that is?

[Pinkie Pie]
Yeah.

[Rarity]
Okay.

[Pinkie Pie]
Let's hear about your sister!

(Applejack turns on the accompaniment.)

[Rarity]
Don't know her well, just friends as kids
She was all like "Do you wanna have a snowball fight?" or something like that
We are related, yes that's true
But that doesn't mean that I like you
And I'd like a boyfriend too!


[Pinkie Pie]
Really great, Elsa.

[Rarity]
I think it's important for ponies to know that that shit happens.

[Pinkie Pie]
Why are you so cynical?

[Rarity]
I'm filled with ice.

[Pinkie Pie]
Right! You are literally an ice princess! Queen! Right? Okay. Now, let's dig into that cold little heart of yours. What is it that you let go of before? What's the "it"?

[Rarity]
Oh... uh, right.... I don't know.

[Pinkie Pie]
Well, everypony fell for it!

[Rarity]
Dairy? I stopped eating dairy?

[Pinkie Pie]
Let's pretend it's youth, you know? It's like being carefree, and young, and silly, okay? Can we try that?

(Applejack turns on the accompaniment.)

[Rarity]
Hang onto it, hang onto it
Let go of letting it go!
Choke it, strangle it, beat it, mangle it
Bury it in the snow!

I'm not letting go anymore
I retract what I said before!

(She belts out a high note Idina Menzel style.)

I'm not even sure what "it" is anyway


[Pinkie Pie]
Really powerful, Elsa.

(To Applejack)

Can we add the Disney filter now?

(Applejack put on the "Disney filter" on the song)

[Recording]
I am me, I am free
I found love, and it feels splendid
You're my bestest friend 'til the very end
But, let's be clear, I'm independent

(Rarity shakes her head and rolls her eyes.)


[Pinkie Pie]
Isn't that great? Now, we're just going to add a little bridge where you apologize to the parents, okay?

(She gives Applejack the lyrics to the bridge and Applejack walks into the recording booth to give them to Rarity. Applejack and Rarity stare at each other and smile as an instrumental version of the song plays. Rarity grabs Applejack's hoof and freezes her on accident.)

[Rarity]
Ah, shit!

[Pinkie Pie]
Oopsie, well, at least we have great insurance here at Walt Disney Studios, huh?

[Rarity]
I'm sorry, I feel bad. I just really need to get laid.

[Pinkie Pie]
What about that Olaf?

[Rarity]
He doesn't have... anything.

[Pinkie Pie]
He has that carrot.

[Rarity]
...Does anypony have a space heater, or just a blow dryer?
Since it's been announced yesterday that Frozen 2 is confirmed, Elsa (Rarity) sings her true feelings about the sequel. I feel that everyone's going to want to slap me, unless they read the whole thing.

MLPFIM (c) Hasbro and :iconfyre-flye:
Original Idea (c) Barely Political
© 2015 - 2024 nikkichic109
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